“In any man’s language it’s a Presbyterian Seder.”
HOLIDAYS
I found out early in my marriage that major holidays had to be dealt with almost immediately. Once traditions, guest and menus were lined up, except for some earth shaking event, they never changed. Face it, you were stuck for life.
Our BIG holidays, because they involved many guests, were New Year’s Day, Passover, Memorial Day, July 4, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. President’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day were relegated to “minor holidays” in that we celebrated them in a special way in our art gallery for many years. Easter was always different in that it was a more religious event and usually for us meant a dinner for the immediate family.
Since I was married in late November, the issue of “who gets the parents,” came up in a few weeks with Christmas in the offing. In our case, my mother and father were the only people involved. Obviously, my mother was not going to volunteer to cook any type of dinner and without too much discussion, we sort of divided them up among three holidays. I took Christmas, my brother, Peter, drew Thanksgiving and Sidney was assigned Easter. That was the schedule we maintained for at least 25 years with a minimum of complaints.
We added the Passover Seder since we felt it was important for the children to at least have an idea of their father’s background and religion. Frequently we were asked, “But what about Hanukah?” I am not sure why but Lew always took the stand that this was not a holiday when he was young and it was more or less a season invented to compete with Christmas. A bit of a ticklish situation for me, as people were positively combative when I presented that view. I now realize that there is a perfectly good reason for Hanukah and can only assume that it was not widely celebrated when Lew was a child.
Having a Seder dinner on the first night of Passover seemed right for us. For several years we were invited to the home of friends, but as the children grew it was more practical to have it at home. For whatever reason, I wrote my own service, based on the Hagadah. I admit it was a bit shorter, but included all of the pertinent points and Lew loved it. We had a Passover plate featuring all the necessary accoutrements. I froze the bone(of undetermined origin) from year to year. I made excellent matzoh balls for the chicken soup and pretty much kept the Seder as it should be.
The participants were usually non-Jewish. Most of our observing friends had their own Seders, but we never had a problem rounding up guests. I guess Lew summed it up one night as he surveyed the table and said, “Let’s face it, in any man’s language this is a Presbyterian Seder.” But it worked for us.
New Year’s Day we had a gala open house from about 3 to 7 p.m. The feature was a huge bowl, of made from scratch, eggnog. I used different liquors and liqueurs from year to year, but nothing was as gorgeous as those great gobs of whipped sweet cream floating on top. It was always a big hit, probably because so many people have gotten into the habit of using the supermarket variety and just add liquor. Please, please make it yourself.
The table was laden with home made goodies—squares, bars, cookies, cakes, all fairly simple and not laden with icing; the eggnog was rich enough. People left usually after an hour’s visit. For the group that stayed on and on, I always had enough ingredients for sandwiches and coffee about 8 p.m. What a great way to consume calories. We were not New Year’s Eve people and usually just stayed home to prepare for the next day’s activities.
Memorial Day was for parades, kids’ activities, outdoor eating and just a welcome to summer, vacations, and the upcoming end of school. July 4 was a bigger event. We invited 30 or 40 people to a big shebang. Families came with offspring in tow since we had the lure of a pool. I made a variety of dishes ranging from picnic potatoes, corn on the cob, green bean, onion and mushroom casserole, tomatoes and mozzarella, macaroni and cheese, cold rice salad, macaroni salad. Then onto the grilled offerings—ribs, chicken, hamburgers, wursts, hot dogs. Lew was not a stellar grill master, but there were always would be experts on hand to help. We ended with fruit, pies, cakes and ice cream novelties for the younger generation. What a feast!
If I ask my children about their favorite holiday memories, their reply is always “Thanksgiving.” For us, this was a holiday for friends. I made a special effort to find people who did not have a place to go and invited them. We dragged out the ping pong table, card tables, the kitchen table and anything that would seat a few bodies. Usually with adults and children we had about thirty hungry souls. The dinner was pretty much standard—turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, many, many vegetables, home made cranberry relish, apple sauce and again, an endless array of desserts. We found that apple and pumpkin chiffon pies were the favorites with chocolate mousse a close second.
Most of the desserts were contributed by others, which made them taste even better.
What can you say about Christmas? Ours was no different than celebrations in other homes. Toys were assembled at the last minute and placed under the tree after the children were in bed. I would come home from a midnight church service and find Lew with hundreds of pieces trying to conquer the mysterious instructions. We usually did not get to bed until 4 a.m., the children were up by 6 a.m. if we were lucky. Several toys were broken before breakfast. Our only aim was to try for a nap before my parents arrived with more toys.
Until David’s birth on Christmas Eve, we had prime ribs for dinner. As I explained previously, Lew felt obligated to continue our plans and ordered a lavish spread from the local Kosher deli. My parents loved it and asked that we continue that menu every Christmas. We did and you have no idea how wonderful it was. No more contending with confusion and cooking; just picking up the order at Petak’s. Once the grandparents left, friends came to feast on the deli leftovers. All of a sudden Christmas Day was no longer a strain. Maybe I should thank David for his timely arrival.
I must share with you our doings on what we called “the minor holidays” which we celebrated only as a marketing promotion to lure customers to our art gallery. For President’s Day, we made a list of all male customers whose name was George and it was an amazing number. I sent out hand written invitations inviting the Georges to a party on the evening of the holiday for wine, coffee and homemade cherry pie. Believe me, it was a big success. But maybe not as big as St. Patrick’s Day when we invited the entire customer list to the gallery for a special sale, Irish Coffee and gallery squares.